jokes

oh

have you peoples got any awes jokes...???

i need to

Hey man, I've got this really awesome joke:
THE 3 CHINESE PUNISHEMENTS:

So this guy gets lost in the woods, and he finds a massive house. He knocks on the door and an old chinese man comes out BLABLABLAWHAT DO YOU WANT!!!! Uhhhhh....to stay over the night. -Oh thats ok deary come on in! But there is only one rule you need to respect...DO NOT SCREW MY DAUGHTER!!!!! If you can't resist the temptation, I will make you endure the 3 chinese punishements. -Yeah watever old man... The dude thought that the girl was gonna be really ugly and gay, but when he sits down at the table he sees her. So the night come, he goes to her room and screws her.
The next morning, he wakes up and feels a weight weighing on his weighy chest. Hes like WTF MATE? and he sees a big rock lying there, with a piece of paper attached to it. It reads: 1rst chinese punishement: rock put on persons chest. Okay. So the guy goees and throws the rock out the window. That is when he sees a second piece of paper which reads: 2nd chinese punishement: Rock attached to left testicle. Okay. So, prefering to get a few broken bones than to be castrated, he jumps through the window too. That is when he sees the third piece of Paper: third and most painfull chinese punishement: (get ready) right testicle attached to the leg of bed.
Okay.
Well, for you its probably okay, but for me it was so painfull to write. I had my legs crossed the whole time and now my balls are hurting.
Don't make me tell one of these jokes again.
CHERIO

you strange strange boy.

okay i' going to shorten this one.

so there's this guy and he's going out with a girl called Lorraine. He really likes her, until one day this girl called Clearly starts working at his job. They start to like each other blah blah blah so later on this guy is taking a walk past a river with his girlfriend and he was trying to break up with her but he just didn't have the heart to do it... until.. Lorraine fell into the rivier and floated away. Then the boy sang... I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone!

Yeah man thats a pretty good joke...
Let's write some about ya mum (not really)
Ya mum is so fat that when she goes to the beach all the wales come and sing: we are family!
Ok everyone knows that one but yeah.

ask me if im a train?

ya mum:

ya mum is so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway...
ya mum is so stupid she took a giant spoon to the superbowl...
ya mum is so stupid she went to barnies rooftop for lunch and ordered a nisoir salad and called it a nikkoy salad. lo white chicks.
ya mum is so stupid she excersises instead of getting like lypo-suction...
white chicks. lol funny funny



ask me if i'm a train!!!

Are you a train?

No!!!!! whhaaa ha haha aha ahahaha ahaha!!!!!

i love corinne!!! (in a non i want to end up wih her on jerry springer kind of way)

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor???

oh oh oh i got another one....

knock knock....



p.s what did the farmer say when he los his tractor???

Who's there??
And what happened to the farmer with the lost tractor?????????
Theres this really gay joke, when you come up to someone from behind and put your finger on their neck. They say WTF? And you say that your just a very tall man

eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww man that is wrong,

in yr 7 my pal lauren, every one remember lauren, yes yes, she did that and she was liek , this i snot a gun i'm just really really tall........... ferral

shelby....

he sayed, where's me tractor!!!! whahahahhhahahahah
that cracked wang at me party with a room of teen chickies!!!! how embarrassing...

Why did the boy fall off his bike?

...................Because he got a fridge thrown at him! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Me and samuel made that one up...)

well what's white and lives up a tree??
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A FRIDGE
whats green and lives up a tree??
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A POOL TABLE

Awesomely thought up amazing joke anna!
Read this:
A blond and a brunette are going to heaven, so they have to climb up 100 steps in the sky. God is gonna tell them a joke on each step they step on, and if one of them laughs, they will fall back to earth. The brunette goes up a step, god tells her a joke, she laughs, then falls back to earth. The blond goes up the first step, but doesn't laugh at god's joke. She gradually walks up the steps, until 99, without laughing. But, then, she poofs out with laughter than falls back to earth.
On earth, the brunette asks the blond: why did you laugh? The blond says: but I had just understood the first joke!
(no offence to blonds emma...)

Here's another blond joke (no offence Emma)
There are one hundred blonds a one brunette on a plane. Then, all of a sudden, a massive tornado comes and rips the bottom of the plane off. All of the passengers are hanging to bars. The pilot tells them that for the plane to stay in the air, one of them is gonna let go. The brunette says I'll go! But she asks the blondes to clap their hands first. So they do. I think you know what the rest of the story is... (no offence Emma...)



































lol.

BLONDE JOKE

a blonde goes to the doctor because she's feeeling sick, the doctor comes back and tells her that she is pregnent, the blonde replies "Is it mine?"

p.s
how do you get an entire generation of ethiopians to run in a fun run...



































roll a cookie down their street

how hilarious..
although, i think my joke made so much more sense! lol

oh my goodness, i read jonny's blonde joke this morning, and i didn't get it until just now.
heh heh heh heh
how embarrasking....

O my goshness Jessy!!!!!!!! Thats no good
Heres another joke: Why was the baby born? Because the dude forgot to use a condom
I'm sorry that was a really silly and nonsensible joke.
Bybye

you got that right jonny boy

i

am

really